Thursday, November 20, 2014

Torah-based Coaching


Before the Shema prayer in the morning we say: “ Our Father, father Who is Merciful [and] Who acts mercifully, have mercy upon us, and instill in our hearts understanding, to understand and to comprehend, to listen, to learn, to teach, to observe, to perform, and to fulfill all the words of the teaching of Your Torah with love…”
 
Obviously the crucial step both in therapy and in life is the implementation phase of “to perform and to fulfill.” Knowledge that is gained without putting it into action isn’t very helpful, in fact it can be extremely harmful. Our sages warn that anyone whose “wisdom” exceeds his good deeds (taking positive action) his “wisdom” will never endure (Ethics of the Fathers). Moreover, one who does not allow his studies to shape his conduct would do better not to study; for he is bringing life to the world – and subsequently burying alive the eternal word of G-d. (Rashi) 
 
Emuna Coaching  is a Torah-based educational method of counseling. The certified emuna coach is trained to utilize relevant teachings from the Torah as they are explained by Rabbi Shalom Arush. Emuna coachesare adept at custom tailoring the Torah’s wisdom and advice to specific challenges that individuals, couples and families are facing. The main point is that emuna coaching is an action-oriented approach.
   
In my recent article entitled “Liars,” I wrote about a courageous woman named “Karen” who found the strength to open up to me about her life-long challenge with chronic pathological lying. Karen had never told anybody about her lying before. In the following excerpt Karen only reached an intellectual understanding of how emuna can help her to stop lying but she didn’t yet have the will to implement that learning until the next session.  
 
Karen: “I had an incident recently with my husband. I bought something and I wasn’t happy with it. The man said he would fix it and personally deliver it to my house which was very far from where he works. He also said that he wanted me to have something else, another item that would look nice in my home. He said the other item cost 200 shekels. I told him okay and he drove the whole distance to deliver these things to me. When I went to pay him the 200 shekels he said: ‘What? 200 shekels? It’s 2000 shekels!’”
 
“I was shocked. Obviously once again I wasn’t paying attention. I had heard him say 200 shekels but then I realized that this wasn’t possible. It was a beautifully engraved piece. It already had all the names of my children in it. It couldn’t be taken back. He traveled so far to deliver it. I had no choice so I gave him the 2000 shekels.”
 
“Then I told Mitchell (her husband) that the money went to pay for my son’s camp. I knew that he wouldn’t check this. I really have to stop doing this, but I’ve been doing it for so long that I don’t know how to stop.” Continue here...


Wishing you the greatest blessings in your life!

Dr. Zev Ballen




























































































Dr. Zev Ballen