Monday, December 22, 2014

The Almost Model Husband

 “What’s wrong with me?” asked Randi. “I have the best husband in the world. Why don’t I desire him anymore? Is it my age? Is it my hormones? What’s going on? I love my husband dearly but I cringe when he comes near me. Is this what happens in a marriage? What can I do?
In every other way Steve is a wonderful husband. He is thoughtful, generous, helpful, complimentary, and fun – just not in one respect. In this one respect, Steve seems to Randi to be just the opposite of his usual sweet self. If he doesn’t get what he wants, he becomes sullen and critical.  He says it’s not fair because he works so hard and gives her so much. He blames her for not loving him enough and attempts to “reassure” her by implying that he is a good husband because he has resisted the “options” that other men take. 
Remember - Steve is a great guy – he truly is. In every other respect he is the model husband that Randi wanted and she knows it. So why doesn’t Steve see what he’s doing to his wife? Why doesn’t he see that these conversations are sending his wife even further away from him? How can a bright guy like Steve not know that his wife is literally nauseous at the thought of being with him; that his blaming her for his sins with himself is not exactly putting her in the mood? 
The answer is because...continue here... 

See also:

A Wake Up Call From Our Neighbors - By Rabbi Lazer Brody

Love Letters - By Racheli Reckles

Happy Chanuka!
Dr. Zev Ballen