Sunday, August 9, 2015

You Can Change History


Is someone in your life giving you a hard time?  Can you think of someone who is very abusive, or hyper-critical of you? Let's say that your boss was in another one of her famous bad moods and screamed at you on Friday afternoon just as you were rushing out of the office to go home to finish your Shabbat preparations. Now, when these situations occur, most people re-play that internal “video” of the bosses angry face and angry voice over and over again in their minds, for days afterwards. They see the boss's angry, contorted face; they hear his voice telling them that they’re incompetent losers and idiots; they hear the boss threatening to fire them.

This problem gets even more compounded through its being repeated so often. Each time we re-play that scene with the nasty boss we tend to believe her abusive words more and more. So now, the poor worker spends her whole weekend playing and replaying the boss’s abusive comments in her head. Who knows how many times she hears the same trash going around in her mind and all the while she increasingly believes that the nasty boss is right. After a lot of repetitions, the “external terrorist” becomes what I call the “internal terrorist”:

"The boss is right! I'm nothing!  I’m a loser! That’s why I can’t survive without him! If he fires me on Monday morning, who else will give me a job?" 


Once a person starts to think this way, unfortunately, she can easily create a self-fulfilling prophesy for herself.

How can such a nice normal hard working mother end up believing such lies about herself? How does she get sucked into thinking about herself in the same way that her boss thinks about her when he’s having a mental breakdown? Continue reading here...

For more great reading see the following:

By Rabbi Lazer Brody - Under the Tzaddick's Wing. Kimberly became observant. Her parents were furious. She endured anguish and tribulations that would have killed anyone with other than an emuna-reinforced constitution...

By Rabbi Shalom Arush - The Purest Love. A person's wife should be the first recipient of a his love for his fellow human, for she is not only his fellow human but the closest human to him in the world...

By Racheli Reckles - The Endless Shabbat. A spiritually-minded person understands that the acquisition of materialism and physical pleasures are not an end in themselves. They are a means to connect with God…


Have a wonderful day!
Dr. Zev Ballen