Friday, March 18, 2016

18 Ways to Pray for Your Children

I've been getting alot of requests for "how to" kind of posts. So for you "tell me what to do types" here are 18 ways that I pray for my own kids...

1.  Pray for self-clarification so that you know how you want to raise your child and what are truthfully the best options that you can offer him. 

2. Pray to be guided by emuna. That doesn’t mean that you don’t make a great effort to help your child but the outcome is up to Hashem.  Hashem will cause your child to go in the way that he needs to go for his own soul-correction. Pray for the wisdom and strength to be able to show Hashem that you will accept the outcome that He ultimately decides upon with gratitude, humility and self-nullification. No matter what - a child needs his parent’s Blessings. Love them unconditionally!

3.  Pray for acceptance of the reality that you probably are not going to know “why” your child is behaving this way. Each situation is highly complex and is being orchestrated from Above.

4.   Pray to believe that your child’s behavior is not your fault or his; that even if you made mistakes  - it doesn’t matter - his behavior is coming from Hashem so there is absolutely no one to blame.

5.  Pray to know with complete certainty that Hashem is leading you and your child though a series of tests where you are both are re-visiting “places” from previous life-times to see how you will handle the same situations now. This is one reason that glib advice from some therapist or pediatrician is dangerous.

6.  Pray to remain at peace with yourself with your teenager and with your spouse during this process. Turn away from the slightest bit of strife. Never get angry, argue or enter into even “peaceful discussions” with your child that are tinged with even a little aggression. It is better to politely excuse yourself at such times.

7.   Pray for the will to throw away all of your secular psychological books on child-raising – literally remove them from your home.

8.  Pray to never turn to your pediatrician for his opinions about your child’s behavior unless he submits himself to a Tzaddik – otherwise his advice will probably not be true and will only confuse you and divert you from searching for help from Hashem.

9.   Pray for the ability to avoid all standardized theories and techniques about child-rearing. Run away from the use of sophistication and manipulation to “shape” your child’s behavior. Simply pray for your child. Your prayers can completely reverse the situation if you inwardly acknowledge that Hashem is your only hope for salvation.

10.   Pray to believe that what Hashem loves the most is the desire of parents to bring their children close to Him by example. Let your children know that you are committed to advocating for them and defending them before Hashem.

11.  Pray to be a model of emuna for your child. By engaging in personal prayer you are teaching them how to pray as well.

12.  Pray that your children will notice that you also don’t make your own decisions but rather consult with Hashem and His Tzadikkim before doing anything.

13.   Pray that you will be able to lean towards chesed (kindness) over gevurah (strictness), with your child, but you need both.

14.   Pray to know the Truth - Without Hashem you are just groping in the dark trying to figure out how to raise your children.

15.  Pray to accept that the most important gift that you can give to your child is a model for how to speak to Hashem in personal prayer.

16.   Pray hard that while your teenager is still in your domain, that you will have the opportunity to influence him by exposing him to your Belief’s about what’s best in life and what leads to the greatest happiness and sense of purpose. 

17. Pray to humbly acknowledge that it was Hashem who assigned your teenager the job of rejecting everything that you stand for and to test your willingness to surrender yourself completely to Hashem’s Mercy.

18.  Above everything - maintain a loving, caring attitude toward your child. A parent should never ever stop loving a child – even one that he may need to love from a distance in order to protect other children.  Never ever stop praying for that child to be able to return safely to your loving arms.

Amen. (feel free to copy it and share it)

Dr. Zev