Sunday, April 29, 2018

Peeling the Veneer

She started to doubt G-d, and to doubt the purpose and point of all the rules that religious Jews keep. In her secret soul, she started to wonder what good it was doing her…


Rochel has been having a very hard few years. Like many of us, she didn't grow up religious, but she got interested in Judaism while she was still a young woman, and ended up marrying a religious returnee, like herself.

They did what religious people are meant to do, and moved into a religious neighborhood and had a lot of kids very quickly. Rochel was very obedient, and did everything she was told to do. She didn't always believe in what she was doing, she didn't always understand what she was doing, but she still went along with it, did what she was told, and didn't ask any questions.

Then, three years ago, she and her husband experienced what psychologists describe as the highest stressor there is – the death of a child.  Understandably, this was an incredibly difficult experience for Rochel, and in many ways, it broke her completely.

She started to doubt G-d, and to doubt the purpose and point of all the rules that religious Jews keep. In her secret soul, she started to wonder what good it was doing her, or the world, for that matter, to be keeping all these “arcane” laws. From the outside, it's easy to see that Rochel was incredibly angry with G-d, and with Judaism, after the death of her son. But Rochel herself didn't really understand what was happening to her. All she knew is that secretly, she started to break the Sabbath.